American Monsters
by Brawl499
Summary: When two of the members of M.O.N. are trapped in the United States on a botched business trip, and accidental arson and murder prevents them from leaving conventionally, what events may unfold in their attempts to get home?


Author's Note

So, the only thing I really want to let everyone know about before reading is that, while the story _will_ feature large involvement with crime and mobsters, gangsters, the full nine yards, this story is _not_ intended to be intensely serious. My writing relies heavily on a mixture of banter, jokes, and violence mixed with occasional serious moments, so I can assure you now that the story will never get incredibly depressing.

Also, while I clearly state in the description that it's just Maneko and Zombina in America, other characters getting featured is not ruled out, especially since I'm fond of "Meanwhile in (Place name)…." cuts when it's appropriate, so any fans of the center-starring cast will not be disappointed.

In addition to that, while they won't be around every corner, there will be other monster races appearing in America from time to time. Aside from a select one or two I want to feature personally, it really comes down to what races you guys would want to see appearing at any point.

Also, to fans of my the stories, I've got multiple almost-finished chapters for both new and already uploaded stories, so keep an eye out for that.

Chapter 1: Boom Goes the Store

_Hotel Room in Downtown Fort Worth, Texas…_

Despite having a prominent love for guns, as well as getting to shoot anybody she legally could with them, Zombina didn't exactly hate people. However, Americans had quickly started to earn a spot as the exception in her head.

_Oh, the Americans…._

She had only been in the U.S. for two whole days with Maneko and Ms. Smith as a means of advertising the success of the Extraspecies Act, and yet already the general American population had made her _wish_ she was a senseless zombie from her favorite movie genre.

_What's with all the stitches? You look like that because you got fucked too hard? You some necrophiliacs' bitch?_ Zombina's mind loosely recited as she slept in their hotel room, reminiscing over the various comments that made her want to just reach out and throttle somebody. Not all Americans were bad, just the majority that fed into the misleading information American news stations had been presenting about the Extraspecies Act:

_They were saying that Japan was being __**invaded**__._

That was the main reason they were here: to set the record straight that life in Japan under this act was largely peaceful, with only the occasional escapee or illegal group of revolutionary orcs disrupting the peace. Smith's affectionately named friend Darling usually picked up the slack on the former though, whether he liked it or not.

"Wake up."

_Where the hell is that coming from? _Zombina's slightly awake, still 3/4 asleep mind wondered, hearing a voice start to poke its way into her thoughts.

"Wake up!" The voice yelled again, this time sounding angrier and more desperate.

_If it's so bad just leave a message, I won't call back._ Zombina's mind retorted, somehow bringing phone logic into the equation.

"Wake up dammit!" The voice yelled again, followed by a splash of something wet and cold that instantly kicked the remaining 3/4 of Zombina's mind into alert mode.

"Gah! What the _fuck?!_" Zombina yelled, immediately springing up into a sitting position on her now-wet bed. Figuring out very quickly that the wetness was somebody splashing water on her face, Zombina looked over to he right to see Maneko, dressed and ready, sitting on the other bed with an empty glass. "The hell was _that_ for?!"

"Look at the time." Maneko replied, completely irrelevant of the question.

"I don't care what time it is, I want to know why you just _had_ to splash ice-cold water on me!" Zombina yelled, further proving why the other members of M.O.N. usually _didn't_ wake her up prematurely.

"Smith is gone." Maneko stated bluntly, being unusually deadpan at the moment.

"What?" Zombina asked in confusion, her anger subsiding completely in an instant. Remembering what Maneko said right beforehand, Zombina looked over at the clock, which read 12:15.

_Their plane back home left two hours ago…._

"Smith is gone and I don't know where she went. I got up about 15 minutes ago, and I figured maybe she just left the room temporarily to get something." Maneko explained, her deadpan demeanor starting to go away. Not bothering to reply, Zombina immediately got out of bed and went to the closet on the far wall where their two bags were being stored. Since Americans were so uncertain of these other races, they agreed to just use two bags that belonged to Smith to avoid any altercations in an American airport. Unfortunately, it seems like that decision was going to be their downfall.

"The bags are gone. Smith left with the fucking _bags_ but not _us?!_" Zombina yelled, almost in disbelief. She knew Smith was underpaid, but this was ridiculous. "So, what do you suggest we do? Because those bags had our passports, our badges, _any_ form of identification to prove we're here legally."

"Well, we could see about going to the nearest Airport and-" Maneko started to suggest, both women freezing up with hope when the door to their room opened….

_and proceeded to lose said hope when a maid walked in._

"What are you two doing here? This room checked out a couple hours ago." The maid started to ask in confusion at their presence, freezing up when Maneko looked up from the floor at her.

"Ah! Monster!" The maid screamed, pulling a bottle of window cleaner off the cart in the hall and throwing it at Maneko, her poor aim causing it to instead take out the bedside lamp.

"Hey, calm down!" Zombina contradictorily yelled, running out into the hall despite still only wearing a tank top, her underwear, and her dog tags, to stop the maid. Granted her definition of _stop_ was to get a solid hold of the maid's collar.

"Please don't kill me!" The maid pleaded, seeming put off by Zombina's stitches.

"Lady, listen: I need you to calm down, and tell me how we get to the nearest Airport." Zombina asked, remembering Maneko's idea briefly touched on an Airport before the maid showed up.

"I….I….I…." The maid stuttered, trying Zombina's patience.

"English! Please _speak it!_" Zombina tried to coerce, finding it ironic that the person who knew English as a _secondary_ language was demanding that it be spoken. When the maid continued to be useless, Zombina let her go and motioned for her to leave, watching as the panicked maid took off down the hallway. She would've tried further to make the maid talk, but Zombina didn't want to be stuck in a foreign country with no proof of legal passage _and_ be wanted for attempted murder.

"How long do you think we have before the maid gets the police?" Maneko asked, still stung over the monster comment.

"Probably….an hour, give or take?" Zombina guessed, rolling her eyes as the maid tripped, stumbled, and almost face-planted into the door of a janitorial closet she was trying to hide in.

"You really think it would take that long?" Maneko wondered, slightly confused.

"Well, it'll probably take about 15 minutes for her to calm down and comprehend what she just saw, another 20 to convince _anybody_ she isn't taking something strong, then another 20 to get the police to believe her, let alone come out here. Plenty of time for us to go if we hurry." Zombina guessed, walking back into the room to grab a pair of black cargo pants, her brown leather bomber jacket, and a pair of boots.

"What I was thinking is if we can get to a local Airport, maybe we can explain who we are and try to work out some method of getting back home?" Maneko suggested, knowing that both of them had more than enough money to get them home.

"I doubt any Airport would just let a zombie and a cyclops on a plane, even if we already paid for and missed a flight, but I don't have a better suggestion." Zombina half-countered, finishing the laces on her boots. With both of them ready to leave, the two monsters left the room. "Got any ideas on a good place to ask for directions to the nearest Airport?"

"Well, I remember seeing a firearms and fireworks shop just down the road. Maybe the owner will know the land." Maneko figured, narrowing her one eye in disdain as they passed a janitorial closet. Hurrying to the elevator, both women wasted no time in setting it to the bottom floor.

"Sounds good to me. Just hold my hand and look at the floor while we're passing through the lobby, don't want to attract any attention." Zombina suggested, figuring that the desk attendant wouldn't be more cyclops-friendly than the maid. Watching as the elevator doors slid open, the two monsters wasted no time in fast-walking out the door, trying to look as few people in the eye as possible. Going to the edge of the parking lot, Maneko started to scan for the aforementioned shop

"Ah! There it is." Maneko exclaimed, pointing to a across the street and a small ways down the road to their right. Following Maneko's finger, Zombina tried to read the shop name.

"Boomtown Firearms and Fireworks. Huh, if we were staying I'm sure I'd like the place. Come on, we'll never get home if we just stand here." Zombina pointed out, grabbing Maneko's wrist again. Crossing the street, the duo made their way to the front door of the shop and pushed their way inside without a second thought.

"Welcome to Boomtown Firearms and Fireworks, how can I help you?" A middle-aged man, who hurried to get behind the counter, asked as the two women entered.

"Sorry, we're not here to buy anything. We need to know the way to the nearest airport. Do you have a map or something?" Zombina asked, deciding to take 'point' since her non-human aspects were more easily written off. Seeming cooperative, the man nodded and pulled out a map, which he proceeded to la out on the table.

"Well, I've found that the quickest way is if you go up-" The man, whose nametag stated was Yorick, the manager, started to explain. He abruptly cut himself off when Maneko stepped up to try and look at the map too, at which point he stepped back and pulled an Ithaca 37 shotgun out from behind the counter.

"The fuck are you doing?! We're just looking at the map!" Zombina yelled, throwing her hands up to show she wasn't armed in hopes of calming the man down.

"Oh no, I've heard about you freaks on the TV: what you're doing over in Japan. Well you're not getting me too! Get the _hell_ out of my store!" Yorick threatened, racking the slide on his shotgun. Not wanting Maneko to get shot, Zombina complied, and the two women left.

"God dammit! We were that close to getting out of here!" Zombina yelled in annoyance, sitting down on the hood of a dark grey muscle car in the parking lot. Her anger became more focused, however, when she noticed Maneko's expression.

"I guess I really am just a freak…." Maneko almost moped, her insecurities rising up again. "Uhm, Zombina, where are you going?"

"To cost this guy some money." Zombina answered, walking back into the store when she noticed Yorick had gone towards the back end. Pushing the door open slowly, she crept in and looked around for something she could use up to deny Yorick some profits, while still getting out of there before he could notice. Spotting a box of 'Flyin' Fiyaworks!' laying on a table near the middle of the store, Zombina got an evil idea. Snatching a box of matches and a Swiss Army Knife from the checkout counter, she snuck over to the box of fireworks.

"Don't want to help a couple freaks, huh? Well we'll see who's laughing when you're watching money explode right in your face." Zombina chuckled, cutting open the box and dumping the fireworks inside out on the table. Laying them in a line facing towards the manager's office, Zombina lit a match and set off all of the fireworks, but not before leaving a note that read 'Alas, Poor Yorick's Profits….'. Now content, she wasted no time sprinting out of the store. With the long fuse each one had, she and Maneko could be out of sight before they went off.

"Why are you so happy?" Maneko asked, fearing that Zombina 'took care' of Yorick.

"I went back inside and lit some of that assholes' fireworks. If we go now we can be out of the way before he comes out here." Zombina smiled, imagining the expression on his face when he saw his product being expended.

_Maybe I'll get lucky and the fireworks I set off will trigger even more f-_ Zombina started to think, before her thoughts were thrown upside down by a loud explosion coming from within the store that was on-par with a bomb. Whipping around, Zombina's jaw almost literally dropped as she saw a plume of smoke rising from the roof of the store, and various bits of debris, presumably remains of the roof, were sailing towards them.

"What did you do?!" Maneko yelled, completely bewildered.

"I lit the guys' fireworks and ran out of the store! I didn't think things would start blowing up!" Zombina yelled back, trying to defend her innocence.

"Well did you see anything that the fireworks might've sailed into?!" Maneko continued to yell, becoming more and more worried.

"Well there was a…..oh shit….." Zombina stopped, realization of just how bad the situation has become.

"_A…?_" Maneko inquired, not liking where this was going.

"I set the fireworks up in such a way that they would sail towards the managers' office. I _might_ have forgotten to consider the open boxes of vintage gunpowder sitting by said door." Zombina weakly explained, a sheepish grin on her face. Realizing that it was becoming heavily implied that she has essentially killed Yorick, as well as committing arson, something dawned on Zombina that made her feel incredibly stupid:

_Why didn't we just flag down a cab and have them take us to the airport?_


End file.
